When to Give Up on an Employee (and What to Change First)

Is it OK to give up on an employee?

We don't recommend giving up on the person. What you can give up on are three things: the way you're coaching them now, the way their goals are set, and how their work is assigned. Change how you coach and how you set goals first, check the results, and only then rethink the assignment.

A common piece of advice says, "Cut your losses early with employees who show no promise, and spend your time on the ones who can grow." But as their direct manager, you keep assigning this person work, evaluating them, and meeting with them even after you've written them off. The only thing that changes is how you engage: you stop giving feedback, or you stop handing them tasks.

In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees in Japan, 3.9% of respondents named "my manager isn't committed to holding the meetings" as a problem with their regular meetings. Of those, 15.3% felt the meetings were helping them grow, compared with 26.7% of all respondents. People who feel their manager isn't committed to the meetings tend to feel less growth from them.

It's safest to assume that if you quietly pull back, your direct report will notice. Your real choice isn't "give up or keep going." It's "pull back without saying anything, or say what you think and change your approach."

From here on, we'll use one example: next week's staff shift schedule, which is due every Thursday evening. You handed it to your team member 3 months ago, but every Thursday afternoon you still take it back and finish it yourself. When it feels like nothing changes no matter how many times you say it, it's exhausting.

Three things to check before you give up on a team member

Before giving up on a team member, check three things: whether you've watched them do the work, whether you've told them how you assess it, and whether you've asked how things look from their side. If even one is missing, you don't yet have enough to make a decision.

Have you watched them actually do the work?

Knowing only that they missed the deadline doesn't tell you where they're getting stuck. If you never see how they work, your advice is likely to miss the mark. Start by sitting beside them for just 30 minutes while they work.

Have you told them, in words, how you assess their work?

If you don't tell them, your direct report has no way of knowing how their work is being judged.

In KAKEAI's survey, among people who meet with their manager at least once a week, only 25.8% discuss performance evaluation in those meetings. Even with weekly meetings, only a minority talk about how they're being evaluated.

Some advice says, "Don't bring up evaluations in regular meetings." KAKEAI doesn't recommend that. If someone first hears their evaluation at the end of the review period, they have no time left to improve. Tell them, before the period ends, what standard you expect, where things stand now, and how their evaluation is shaping up so far.

If you've already pulled back, start by admitting it.

Have you asked how things look from their side?

You and your direct report are both part of the situation. The person who knows best what isn't working about how you teach or how you ask is your direct report.

How to decide, and what to try first

Whether to rethink the assignment depends not on how many times you've told them, but on how many things you've changed and whether you've seen the result of each change with your own eyes. Repeating the same approach 10 times still tests only one idea. Use the order below as a guide, and change one thing at a time.

1. Change your approach. Form one hypothesis about why they get stuck, then change one thing: how you teach, how you ask, or the day you check progress.
2. Reset the goal. Replace "finish it all on your own" with a near-term goal like "get this far this week."
3. Decide together what your team member will change. They're part of the situation too.

If the answer looks like it will stop at "I'll try harder," talk it through together until you've agreed on what will change and by when.

In KAKEAI's survey, 6,074 people said their meetings with their manager lead to action about half the time or less. They were asked why the meetings don't lead to action (up to 5 answers). 16.3% said "I don't have a clear picture of where I want to be." 9.1% said "I lack the skills to do it," and 8.3% said "It clashes with how I see myself or who I want to be, so I don't want to." More people chose "no clear picture of where I want to be" than either of the other two.

It often helps to keep your ultimate expectations where they are, and agree together on a near-term goal for how far to get this week.

In 300,000 1-on-1 sessions extracted from the records of Kakeai, KAKEAI's 1-on-1 service (Kakeai AI 1on1), the median gap between consecutive 1-on-1s for the same manager and direct report was 29 days. If you wait for the next 1-on-1 to check the result, each change takes about a month to test, and three changes take about 3 months. We recommend setting a date to review the result together within 2 weeks of making the change.

If all four of the following are true and they still get stuck in the same place, it's fine to move on to rethinking the assignment and talking with your own manager or HR.

• You've made a total of 3 changes on your side (to your approach and to the goal), and you've seen the result of each one yourself.
• You've told them your current assessment and how their evaluation is shaping up.
• They've also tried the change on their side, up to the date you agreed on together.
• You've reviewed together what you changed and what happened, and you've written it down.

Moving on after all of that is not the same as abandoning your team member.

Based on its experience supporting more than 3 million 1-on-1s and its survey of 10,000 employees in Japan, KAKEAI believes there is no universal coaching method that works for every employee. Coaching means forming a hypothesis, trying it, checking the result, and adjusting.

How to talk to the employee, your manager, and HR when you change their role

When you discuss changing someone's assignment, share your view first, then ask for theirs. A change in responsibilities can affect their future career.

In Kakeai's records, when "future career" was chosen as a topic before a 1-on-1, the direct report picked "I want your opinion" as what they hoped for from the manager 16.6% of the time. "I want us to think it through together" was 16.4%, and "I want you to listen" was 7.6%. When the topic is career, employees tend to want the manager's opinion or to think it through together, more than simply to be heard.

When the change is within your authority

You can decide on your own how the work is split into steps, or who on the team handles which part.

When it's not your call alone

Changing someone's role itself, or what happens to them after that, isn't something you can decide alone. This page doesn't offer guidance on transfers, demotions, encouraging someone to resign, or termination. Before raising any of these in a meeting, review your company's employment policies and talk with HR. Tell the employee that you're consulting HR and when you'll get back to them.

When you go to your own manager and HR, bring a summary of what you changed and what happened.

What to avoid when you feel like giving up

When you feel like giving up on someone, the thing to avoid most is pulling back without ever telling them why.

• Quietly pulling back. For example, noticing a short-staffed day and filling it yourself without saying anything, giving the shift schedule to someone else without explaining why, or skipping your meeting with "I'm too busy this week."
• Pointing out the problem more often without changing how you say it. In KAKEAI's survey, among people who meet with their manager at least once a week but whose meetings don't lead to action, only 12.7% felt the meetings were contributing to results. Even with frequent meetings, people whose meetings don't lead to action tend to feel fewer results. Before you repeat the same feedback again, change one thing about how you deliver it.
• Saying "they're a lost cause" when they're not in the room. Word may reach them secondhand before you've spoken to them directly.
• Deciding the problem is the person, as in "they're not capable" or "they're not cut out for this." It hides what you could change next. Also avoid guessing that their health or personal traits are the cause. If a worrying change continues, tell them only the facts you've observed. Then talk with HR, and connect them with occupational health services or a medical professional.

How to look back on your decision

Whether your decision worked isn't measured by whether you feel closure. Look at these three things.

• Have the two of you talked about your assessment and how their evaluation is shaping up, before the end of the period?
• For each thing you changed, have you checked together what happened afterward?
• Are there no longer any weeks when you take the shift schedule back on Thursday afternoon?