How to Give Guidance to Employees So It Actually Lands

When guidance doesn't land, the problem is usually what you said, not your tone

If your guidance to a direct report doesn't seem to get through, look at what you actually put into words before you worry about your tone. Phrasing that doesn't land usually falls into three types.

• Leaving things out. "Check it properly." "Get it in a bit earlier." The manager has in mind which part bothered them, what a good result looks like, and why, but all they say out loud is the one-line conclusion.
• Blurring it. "If possible." "Maybe." "When you have time." Words added so you don't sound harsh make it hard to tell whether this must be fixed, and from when.
• Judging the person. "Sloppy." "No ownership." Hearing this, your direct report still doesn't know what to change next.

If you assume people dislike being corrected, your words tend to get shorter and softer. When you feel like saying "I've told you this before," try to recall exactly what words you used last time. If it was just "Check it properly," then that one line is all that reached your direct report.

Records of 300,000 1-on-1 sessions extracted from Kakeai, KAKEAI's 1-on-1 service, capture the topic and what direct reports want from their manager, chosen by the direct report before each 1-on-1. For the topic "building skills and abilities," "I want specific advice" was chosen 19.2% of the time. That was the most common of the five options (excluding "other"), while "listen to me" was 6.9%. When the topic is building skills, managers are asked for specific advice more often than to just listen.

In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees in Japan, 22.2% of people said they talk about "building skills and abilities" in meetings with their manager. Among them, 39.6% felt their meetings led to results. Among people who don't talk about it, the figure was 29.7%, so those who do are more likely to feel their meetings lead to results.

We recommend softening only your tone when you give guidance, and not cutting the content. If you want to soften things, instead of "if possible," choose words like "please" or "it would really help" that don't blur the deadline or how important it is.

Seven examples of rephrasing guidance so it gets through

The same message can carry very different amounts of information depending on how you say it. Here are seven rephrasings, using the example of a direct report who prepares a sales summary sheet for the regular meeting every Monday.

The middle column shows one way your direct report might fill in what wasn't put into words. The right-hand column adds back these four things that the left-hand column left out.

• Which task, and which part of it
• What the result should look like
• Starting when, or by when
• Why it's needed (who it causes problems for, and how)

In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees, we asked the 6,074 people who said their meetings lead to action about half the time or less why their meetings don't lead to action (up to five answers). "The desired outcome isn't defined" was 16.3%, "I don't have the information I need to act" was 15.9%, and "I don't feel a need to act now (low urgency)" was 13.4%.

When you put everything your guidance needs into words, it won't fit in one line. It takes two or three sentences. Some advice says "keep guidance short and to the point," but what you should limit is the number of points at a time, not the content. Even in a week when you find three things to fix, share only the one that most affects the meeting, and don't cut its content.

Talk it through while looking at the material together

When you give guidance, we recommend opening the material in question and looking at it together with your direct report as you talk. With the material in front of you, it's easier to change the subject from "you" to "this row in this sheet," and the conversation shifts from whether the person is good or bad to the gap between the sheet and the standard. If there's a sheet from a week that went well, put them side by side.

Say up front whether it's a must-fix or a suggestion

In your first sentence, say whether this is something that must be fixed, a suggestion, or your personal preference. If you say "it might be nice if..." without separating the three, your direct report will struggle to judge what actually needs fixing.

Anything that affects the meeting or a client, or is set by company rules, should be presented as a must-fix.

A suggestion is something your direct report decides whether to take.

If it's your preference, say so.

If what you need fixed relates to an item in their evaluation, it helps to mention that too. But you can't promise an evaluation outcome, so limit what you say to which item it relates to.

Don't commit to always telling them how to fix it, or always asking first

Sometimes it works best for the manager to explain exactly how to fix something. Other times it's better to ask for your direct report's ideas first.

In Kakeai's records, for the topic "building skills and abilities," direct reports chose "I want your opinion" 17.3% of the time and "think it through with me" 15.8%. These are close to the most common choice, "I want specific advice," at 19.2%. Even on the same topic, what direct reports want from their manager varies.

When they want specific advice, tell them what to fix and where to start. When they ask for your opinion, they often have their own idea, so it often helps to ask about it first and then give your view in concrete terms. When they ask you to think it through with them, first understand what they're struggling with and what they want to do, then genuinely work on it together. If you don't know what they want, ask. If they don't know either, one approach is to explain it yourself for tasks that are new to them, and ask for their ideas first on tasks where they have their own way of doing things.

On the other hand, some managers already know exactly what they want fixed but still ask, quiz-style, "So what do you think is wrong with this sheet?" KAKEAI does not recommend deciding in advance that you'll never give the answer and will always lead people to discover it through questions. What direct reports want from their manager differs from person to person and from one time to the next. At the same time, avoid always deciding exactly how to fix things on tasks where your direct report has their own ideas.

How to check on the spot that your guidance got through

To check whether your guidance got through, ask your direct report, right then, what they'll start with next. Asking "Got it?" or "Are we OK?" rarely works as a check. To answer "no," your direct report would have to volunteer, "I don't understand."

In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees, 9.7% named "I can't bring up what I want to talk about or what needs to be discussed" as a problem in meetings with their manager (multiple answers allowed).

Saying "I don't understand" right after receiving guidance isn't easy. Instead of a yes-or-no question, ask about the next steps.

If you get back "I'll be careful" or "I'll check properly," decide together, right then, what exactly they'll do.

If your direct report's answer doesn't match what you meant, don't treat it as a listening problem on their side. Fill in your explanation.

If your direct report tells you about their circumstances, take that in first, then say what you can do on your side. Depending on the situation, it's fine to just listen that day.

When you send guidance by chat, your tone doesn't come through in text, so it helps to put how important it is and the deadline in the first line, and ask for a reply at the end.

What to avoid when giving guidance

When giving guidance, avoid three things: staying vague until the relationship is established, choosing your phrasing based on what "type" someone is, and repeating a line that didn't get through, only more forcefully.

• Staying vague until the relationship is established. The relationship between a manager and a direct report goes through stages, and the right approach depends on the stage. The same sentence lands differently when someone is still on guard than when they can raise problems without bottling them up. Even so, KAKEAI does not recommend holding back guidance until trust is built. We believe the relationship is built in the course of moving the work forward. If your direct report still seems on guard, narrow it down to one point without cutting the content, and say how important it is up front.
• Choosing your phrasing based on someone's generation or personality "type." In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees, the most common answer to what people most want from their manager in meetings was "it depends on the situation," at 20.9%. Rather than deciding your phrasing from a type, we recommend adjusting it as you go by asking how your words were received.
• Repeating a line that didn't get through, only more forcefully. A stronger tone doesn't add any content to the words. Look at which of the four items listed below the table was missing, and fill it in.

How to look back on whether your guidance got through

Whether guidance got through shows up in the work that follows, more than in your direct report's expression when you said it. When you look back on how you communicated, ask yourself these three questions.

• When you gave the guidance, did the two of you agree on the next step as a specific task with a date?
• Did what you said show up in the next Monday's summary sheet?
• If it did, did you tell your direct report?

Whether it showed up that week or not, talk about it with your direct report.

In KAKEAI's survey of 10,000 employees, when asked whether meetings with their manager lead to action afterward, the most common answer was "about half the time," at 40.9%.

Drawing on its experience supporting more than 3 million 1-on-1s and its survey of 10,000 employees, KAKEAI believes that whether your guidance was well phrased should be judged by what your direct report does afterward, more than by how they react in the moment.